I normally have pretty thick skin. Normally I don't care what people say or think about me. BUT, lately people are working my nerves. Yes, it looks odd that I am always jogging in place. Yes, most people don't do what I do and most people won't do what I do. But, that does not make it ok for everyone to come up to me and my family with wise cracks about my jogging.
It is not funny to ask if I am training for a marathon. It is not funny to start jogging next to me because you think it is funny. I have jokingly said I need to make business cards saying what I am doing and why. I could just hand them out when people approach me with that look. As a society we are very uncaring and rude.
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Friday started the next chapter in my life. My job has ended and currently I am not able to get another job. I can't stand or sit long enough to interview and even if I managed to get through the interview no one would hire me because I am a safety risk.
But all is not bad. I will be able to spend more time with my wife and kids. Hopefully not having the stress of work will at least help reduce some of my symptoms. While things might be tight, I think overall my family will be better because of this change. We will persevere, we will make it out of this stronger! Kids are great! My favorite thing about them is that they allow me to be a kid longer! You can play with toys, play games, ect, all under the guise of playing with your kids. In reality you are playing because you have fun to.
Another thing about kids is that they do the funniest things. This morning Anthony and Eric were chasing each other around the house like a bunch of crazed animals. Of course they both simply wanted to make sure they got the last hit in. I don't know how many times I heard the phrase, "HA you did NOT get me!", followed up with one of them chasing the other. Anthony was so determined to get the last hit that he tried to trick Eric into thinking he left. Of course Eric's plan was to lock himself in the bathroom to make aure Anthony could not get him. Needless to say, I was busting a gut this morning. I am pretty sure that I walked out the door grinning ear to ear. Expectations.... What are expectations? The easy answer is what you or others feel you can do. Since my symptoms have gotten ugly it seems as if everyone has determined that I am no longer capable... In the past people had high ecxpectations for me. I worked full time, went to school at night, and was an active member of my family. Nobody questioned if I was capable of doing just about anything.
Now, I swear many days it is assumed that I am only able to get out of bed and sit in my chair. I am NOT an invalid! I can still DO most things! Do have to pace myself? YEP! Do I have to carefully plan what to do? YEP! Sometimes am I a little slower than I was in the past? YEP! Are their days that things are real difficult? YEP! BUT, I CAN still do many things! Don't pick for me what you THINK I can do, because I KNOW what I can do! I am not an invalid, I am still a functioning adult! I am still very capable I just have to pick my spots! |